confessions of a pragmatic midwife stuck between the NHS and a hard place
I went camping. It felt a bit naughty although not against current COVID regulations. I was duly punished by the fates. When I got back home I found something apparently stuck into my skin at the right distance from my middle-aged eyes to just be a fuzzy black thing. Pulled it out – up close…
Lockdown is getting me down. I want a man. No I want a few men. Sorry – apologies for being hetronormatative. I wouldn’t mind a few young women as well, maybe an older woman so long as she’s fit enough to sleep in an uncomfortable chair overnight. Antenatal ward is now my least favourite place…
“So do I have to go on the drip now?” “You don’t have to do anything. It’s only what we would advise because we think that’s the safest option.” I was smiling, keeping eye contact and using my professional friendly voice but it wasn’t working. I added, “It’s up to you – we can’t make…
I think I’ve worked out my survival mechanism as a midwife and why it might not be the best tactic for the pandemic. Like a koala in a forest fire – except less cute – my evolved coping mechanisms might not be the best plan. One lovely mentor I had as a student gave me…
I’m writing on Sunday 22 March 2020. This week I worked on Monday night (nearly a week ago so half an eon in covid-19 times) after four days off. I’m part-time so that’s not unusual – well it didn’t used to be. In those 4 days the UK had changed and I was fully part…
“Ok Sia, push down into your bottom,” said the obstetrician. I really, really wished I had insisted we find an interpreter. The problem is that communicating with anyone is hard just before they deliver a baby – women lose their first language never mind a partially-learnt second. Add a fear that your baby might die…
When you are looking after a woman in active labour you aim to be at their side for as much of the time as possible. As, for some, labour is slow, that can cover an entire 12-hour shift, so obviously you are not there 100% of the time. You have personal needs (going for a…
Last week I had to help cover another midwife’s work and, as seems to be depressingly usual for me, I screwed something up. Something clerical not clinical thankfully and I was informed about it in a cheerful way by one of the ward clerks. “She’s angry because you sent the letter to her old GP…
“Do you think I should put 4 drops of clary sage and 2 of lavender or the other way around?” The younger midwife looked at me anxiously and I had to fight the urge to say “I don’t think it matters a shit.” We had just finished our theoretical training on aromatherapy and were being…
“Ok,” I said, “I’ll do it but only if you say you love me.” As the words came out I found myself worrying – had I misjudged the moment? Was it too soon? “You know I love you,” came the reply. Thank god I thought, they didn’t think I was being weird and needy. “Am…